wat bout pragnant strippers??
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
