Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
