i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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