I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Randomize