I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize