My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You smell like stripper and shame
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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