She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
