Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
