apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
