We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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