I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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