So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
