I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
