A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
