everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
