is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
This is my gift to your gina
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
