it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
