she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
