I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
