he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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