ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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