my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
