I wannas sexs uuuuu
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
