ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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