Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
