What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
