I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
