Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
