One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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