that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Your dad touched me again.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
She needs sedatives and a leash
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
