This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
The convent might be a nice break from real life
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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