dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Randomize
