I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
