I bet he comes in French.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize