You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
