Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
where am i from again
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
