I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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