So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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