i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My dick has a subreddit
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