better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
