So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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