He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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