I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize