it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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