i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
