I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
