I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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