Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
