i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Randomize
