My hair reeks of homosexuality.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
