it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
