We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
