JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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