i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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