Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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