Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
