I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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