6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
