Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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