I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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