Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
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