Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
