This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Someone came in the potted fern
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
