I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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