My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Even my vagina gasped.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
