I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
