She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
