she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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