EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
