i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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