mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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