You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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