yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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