Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
