Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize