just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
